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Thisisalloneword is having a bad Christmas Day. He is with friends and they are eating, watching TV and swapping presents. Oh yes, they are also awaiting the inevitable appearance of a massive demon who will come to drag some of them back to the underworld. Someone was trying to keep secret the small amount demon blood that they carried through their veins. Thisisalloneword is waiting and planning both an attack, an escape and a survival strategy for being in hell.
There are small children present and this is the type of thing that can put them off Christmas for life.
But no demon ever shows and thisisalloneword finds himself watching Christmas TV with everyone else. It’s the local news and it’s Chris Coneybeer reporting from some fishing town on the south coast; he’s working on Christmas day, fair play to him, hope he’s getting overtime. Anyway the news story is that a strange canoe shaped speedboat had been seen going really fast along some river/lake and the river/lake had recently that day been bought by corrupt fishermen from China. The boat was actually some sort of fishing boat that had killed all the fish in the whole river/lake within minutes! The waters ran red with fish blood. Local people were very angry.
Chris does his piece to camera which is a bit odd because he stands still but his arms and hands keep motioning from left to right and the camera man follows the movements of his hands so the whole piece is decidedly odd. These corrupt no good people want all the fish right away to sell over the holidays and to hell with the fish stock (no pun intended) after that. Chris then passes over to some sort of expert who proceeds to interrogate two fishermen and ask the opinion of an angry local.
The two fishermen insult the interviewers mother and so he offers to fight them. They except and now we have a live broadcast fight. The interviewer hits one of them with a door and then puts the boot into his head – he soon dispatches them both.
Odd. Most odd.
Thisisalloneword then finds himself in Lymington High Street and the two fishermen are looking for him. They meet on the corner of New St and thisisalloneword duffs them up. But they will be back we more people soon so he starts making his way up the High St towards the church. Four of them attack him now and he punches one a few times and then realises that the man is also somehow a balloon and so he changes tack from hitting to bitting the ’skin’ of his opponent who suddenly deflates and shrinks to the size of a balloon with a slow puncture.
The rest of them chase him and someone who thisisalloneword guesses is on his side, a younger guy with a large afro, to the church. The church is a massive Gothic building with gargoyles and spires and balconies and spikes and in a creepy overgrown graveyard. Thisisalloneword has remembered that he can fly at this point so he nips up to the top of the church awaiting his foes. The afro guy runs inside the church and disappears. Thisisalloneword glides with (and he’s never seen these before) thin wings, down to the end of the graveyard where there is an old shed. He gets caught up in the branches of trees though – damn these wings! – and one of the fishermen finds him…
…as they chase each other around the graveyard they then see a game in progress near the church and they stop fighting and forget all about their differences to watch the game. This involves people throwing a large rock at each others heads – what fun! No-one is angry about being hit by the heavy rock because when hit they forget all about everything and their brains fell no pain. Everyone laughs and agrees to be best friends when they see this fun game and the dozens of happy people playing it…